These words are not an outcome of any psychological research but a simple analysis of everyday life - "Parents play the biggest and the most important role in shaping our personalities."
What we are today is the result of what we have observed while growing up. Our inherent nature stems from observational learning - primarily from our observation of our parents' behaviour.
In situations where I am required to express or present an opinion, I follow my very first instinct. In retrospect, I realise that my expression was heavily laden with nuances of my parents' behaviour. Many a times, I see myself handling a situation the same way my mum or dad would've done!
When caught in a limbo, I try to imagine what dad/mum would have done if they were in the same situation - and I get my answer.
So when one says that a person behaves like his/her mum or dad, it is not only the genes at play or the biological connection but an outcome of observational learning.
I was once very upset with the behaviour of a supervisor in office. I was seething with anger and was on the verge of sending out a nasty email. That's when sense struck - and I imagined how dad would have handled this situation. From my childhood memories of how my dad responded to the whims of his bosses, I learned that taking things quitely in the moment of heat and defering your reaction is the most sensible thing to do. You not only flare down the possibilities of a heated argument but also give the other person time to realise their mistake on their own. Thank you, dad! This has always worked and I'm grateful I learned it from you :)
From mum, I've learned the art of handling relationships and how even a straightforward person, who might sound rude to some at times, can still be the heart of a family and loved by all. I've learned that it's not only soft/polished words that can win hearts but sharing of honest opinions with people - if you don't like something, say it. And say it straight to the person rather than taking the long route of gossip. You cannot build relationships by pretending to be "sweet" all the time. Expressing true opinions wins true people - both family and friends. I'm grateful of what I've learned from her and feel blessed today to be surrounded by people who like me the way I am and not because they should be liking me.
On this note, I think I've got an idea on what my next blog would be. Till then...
What we are today is the result of what we have observed while growing up. Our inherent nature stems from observational learning - primarily from our observation of our parents' behaviour.
In situations where I am required to express or present an opinion, I follow my very first instinct. In retrospect, I realise that my expression was heavily laden with nuances of my parents' behaviour. Many a times, I see myself handling a situation the same way my mum or dad would've done!
When caught in a limbo, I try to imagine what dad/mum would have done if they were in the same situation - and I get my answer.
So when one says that a person behaves like his/her mum or dad, it is not only the genes at play or the biological connection but an outcome of observational learning.
I was once very upset with the behaviour of a supervisor in office. I was seething with anger and was on the verge of sending out a nasty email. That's when sense struck - and I imagined how dad would have handled this situation. From my childhood memories of how my dad responded to the whims of his bosses, I learned that taking things quitely in the moment of heat and defering your reaction is the most sensible thing to do. You not only flare down the possibilities of a heated argument but also give the other person time to realise their mistake on their own. Thank you, dad! This has always worked and I'm grateful I learned it from you :)
From mum, I've learned the art of handling relationships and how even a straightforward person, who might sound rude to some at times, can still be the heart of a family and loved by all. I've learned that it's not only soft/polished words that can win hearts but sharing of honest opinions with people - if you don't like something, say it. And say it straight to the person rather than taking the long route of gossip. You cannot build relationships by pretending to be "sweet" all the time. Expressing true opinions wins true people - both family and friends. I'm grateful of what I've learned from her and feel blessed today to be surrounded by people who like me the way I am and not because they should be liking me.
On this note, I think I've got an idea on what my next blog would be. Till then...
